教练问我：等红灯时你都会做什么？”

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        ☆ I failed my driver's test today. The instructor asked me, "What do you do at a red light?" I said "I usually check Twitter and also see what people are up to on Facebook." 我今天没通过驾驶考试。 教练问我：等红灯时你都会做什么？” 我说：“我通常会刷刷微博，也会看看群里的人在聊什么。” —— Dadsaysjokes ☆ I woke up in the dead of night to see a big fat guy with a long beard and all red beside my bed.  ‘Old man Christmas ......?’ I rubbed my eyes as I went to switch on the bedside lamp. ‘No, Dave, it's me.’ My wife answered me in her new red jumpsuit.  我在深夜惊醒，看到个长胡子、一身红的大胖子在我的床边。  “圣诞……老人？”我边揉着眼睛边去开床头灯。  “不，Dave，是我。”我老婆穿着她新买的红色连体内衣回答我。  ——bumblesquash  ☆ I saw a piece of gum in a urinal today. 　  I thought to myself, omg this must hurt so muc ………………………………